


Apologies

by cinnamongemini



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Draco Malfoy In Love, Friendship, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Hogwarts Eighth Year, M/M, Pining, Redeemed Draco Malfoy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:36:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24660124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cinnamongemini/pseuds/cinnamongemini
Summary: Draco has some very long overdue apologies to make to three particular Gryffindors.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Kudos: 113





	Apologies

**Author's Note:**

> this is mostly apologies and beginning to work through some tough memories but the headcanon that Draco has been pining for Harry secretly since fourth year is amazing and I'm weak for it so I sprinkled a bit into it at the end. 
> 
> hope you enjoy :)

Maybe Aunt Andromeda’s idea wasn’t such a good one after all, now that Draco thought about it. He had quickly grown to love her after his mother wanted to reconnect after the war but seeing the actual golden trio outside in the flesh and not just in the Daily Prophet was like a bucket of ice water was dropped on his head. Sure, the papers were nothing but bloody hero-worship all the time but it still didn’t compare to the real deal. 

Swiping a shaky hand through the loose strands of his hair, Draco mentally thought back over what his aunt had told him in her letter, trying not to sike himself out just yet. 

"Well, I don’t know about his friends but I do know Harry and they will probably be much the same. You must approach him with a friendly demeanor or else he’ll immediately be on the defensive. Now, I know you two have a very tainted past and he might already be suspicious seeing you but that’s why you must do this. I cannot guarantee they will forgive you but I know, at least, Harry will see you made the effort and that's what matters. You can do this Draco. You are a Black." 

She was right, of course, but Draco was also a Malfoy and might only ever be seen as that to those war-hero Gryffindors. It might only be Malfoy vs Potter forever. 

Then again, as clearly stated before, Aunt Andromeda did know Potter deeper than he did, considering all the time the man spends with Teddy, so in the end, he’ll just have to trust her judgment. 

Draco snuck another glance at the three students sitting on the grass a little ways away and finally came out of his place behind a nearby tree. He had pointedly avoided them all until now and he knew spying on them wasn’t the next best choice but watching Potter and his friends from afar was almost a part of him now. They were laughing together about something he couldn’t hear and Draco’s heart ached a little at the sight. ‘A Malfoy would never yearn for something he could never have’, his father had always told him. Well, Father wasn’t here now, was he? 

The sky was grey and sprinkled with unhappy clouds, which was typical weather for October, and also meant the other students wouldn’t be out at this time. Some would be off at Hogsmeade and most others inside the castle. Merlin only knows why those three were even still out. I thought loving nature was a bloody Hufflepuff thing. 

After straightening his old Slytherin tie, since he refused to wear the new “house unity” one, and smoothing back his jumper, Draco hesitantly started on his way towards the trio. The grass was already moist beneath his shoes but the promise of rain wouldn’t discourage him. 

They didn’t seem to notice he was coming at first, still chattering on about Merlin-knows-what when Draco stood only a few feet away, but he knew his platinum blond hair would make him stand out anyway so it wasn’t surprising when three pairs of eyes soon snapped up to meet his as he cautiously approached.

“What do you want, Malfoy?” Weasley hissed, pinning him with a glare and quickly standing up, not-so-subtly placing a hand over his wand. Granger and Potter started to stand as well, weary of Draco but neither reached for their wands just yet. Draco supposed it was now or never.

“Listen, I just want to talk. I don’t mean any-” 

“And how are we supposed to believe that? After everything you’ve done, you think we would ever trust you?” Weasley’s voice was laced with malice, snatching his wand and pointing it at Draco. He advanced towards the Slytherin at a fast pace. Draco quickly backed away and held his hands up in mock surrender, cursing himself for leaving his own wand in his dorm. Well, this sure was starting off great.  
“I know you don’t trust me, Weaslebee but pointing your wand at me when I don’t even have my own isn’t very nice,” he drawled, sneering at the Weasel. Old habits die hard, he supposed. 

“Wait, you didn’t bring your wand with you?” Potter finally piped in, moving to stand beside Weasley. Draco slowly dropped his hands and tried for what he hoped to be an open gesture.

“My aunt didn’t think you would take too kindly to me having my wand when I tried to make peace.” 

“But my mum killed-”

“My other aunt, Weasley,” Draco snapped. So much for trying to be friendly. Honestly, did he not have any sense of manners? 

It was always clear to Draco that he and the Weasel would never get along.

Granger shivered beside them at the small mention of the woman who had tortured her and Draco was a little glad he had interrupted.

“So Andromeda talked you into making peace with us?” Potter asked skeptically, crossing his arms over his chest. His unruly mop of hair was just as messy as always and Draco glared at it. He never understood why Potter never at least attempted to tame it, the beast that it was.

“I have some apologies to make; very long and overdue ones,” Draco started, taking a deep breath before turning to Granger first, “Granger, I am sorry for all those times I had called you a mudblood. It was me ignorantly following my father’s every word. That is no excuse and I know that but it doesn’t mean that I’m not sorry,” It wasn’t the best apology he’d ever given but it was one of the most genuine and Weasley seemed at a loss for words so Draco took that as a win. He was truly sorry after all, so this was a small step in the right direction. He could breathe a little deeper. Granger peered at him through wide eyes, a bit startled, before clearing her throat and standing a bit taller.

“Well, I can’t say that we’ll be best friends or something after this and it’ll still be an adjustment but I accept your apology. Thank you, Draco,” She finished off with a polite smile.

Draco blinked. He hadn’t actually expected to be forgiven, let alone thanked by any of them so this was a surprise. Not an unwelcome one but he fully thought someone would’ve hexed him by now. He swiftly regained himself, held his head high, nodded sharply once to Granger then turned back to Weasley, who still wore a glare. Potter was quiet next to him.

“Weasley, even though you piss me off so much that sometimes I want to turn you into a rat, I apologize that I constantly made fun of your family’s financial status and called you blood traitors,” Weasley’s glare didn’t let up any but he still begrudgingly accepted after Potter elbowed him in the side and made him finally put away his wand. Draco had almost forgotten about the redhead in his midst of trying to come up with some sort of half-hearted sentiment. Almost. He scowled right back in return. Lastly, he faced Potter. 

He was still watching him with a questioning gaze, as if not sure whether to regard him as an enemy or something else entirely now. Draco took a second to fix any misplaced parts of his hair.

“Potter, can we talk somewhere more private?” Draco really didn’t want to have this conversation in front of the other ⅔ of the golden trio. While he completely meant the one to Granger, this apology had a lot of history to get through. It was different. 

Potter blinked at him a few times. 

“Sure? I mean, I guess so. I’ll meet you guys back at the castle then.” 

He said his goodbyes to Weasley and Granger before following Draco. Draco heard Weasley protest behind them but Granger quickly shushed him. 

“They need to do this, Ron. Leave them be.”

Draco decided not to think too hard about what she meant.

Draco felt the knot in his stomach tighten as they walked on silently. What if Potter doesn't forgive him? What if he doesn’t think Draco is telling the truth or it’s for his reputation? What if he gets angry and hexes him three ways to sunday? Well, The Saviour of the Wizarding World wouldn’t dare beat a defenseless man but Potter himself could be unpredictable. Granger and Weasley’s, albeit a bit hesitant, forgiveness was nice but Draco knew Potter’s was the most important.

Draco stopped at a nearby tree and leaned against it, collecting his thoughts and controlling his breathing that he hadn’t noticed in his spiraling.

“Malfoy? You okay?” 

“I always wanted to be your friend, you know,” Draco blurted, not meeting Potter’s eyes, “I grew up hearing all about the ‘famous Harry Potter’ and always imagined us being the best of friends. But then you turned me down and that was the first time I was ever rejected by someone,” Draco breathed out a sigh, the bark of the tree scratching at his jumper uncomfortably.

Potter looked at him incredulously. “You insulted Hagrid in Madam Malkin’s and then my first actual friend on the train and now you’re saying you wanted to be my friend? You’ve got a weird way of friendship, Malfoy.” 

Draco glanced back at the man before him. Potter’s eyes were narrowed and his body language was guarded again. This wasn’t going to be easy.

“Your Weasel laughed at my name when I introduced myself! I was a little snobby brat whose pride was hurt and thought my last name meant the world, so of course, I wasn’t going to just stand there and take it. As for your half-giant, I had just never seen anyone that tall before,” Draco sniffed, crossing his arms over his chest and sticking his nose up. 

Potter lightened up some. “You were scared of Hagrid? He’s like a huge softie.” 

“I was 11 years old, Potter!” Draco’s face burned furiously and he knew that Potter could see it clear as day. Damn his pale complexion. 

Potter held his hands up defensively, an amused smile starting to play on his lips. “Okay, okay. Hagrid is a bit intimidating when you first meet him,” His expression turned pointedly at Draco then, “But if you’re going to try and apologize for every interaction we’ve had since 1st year, we’re going to be here all day.” 

Draco breathed out a small laugh. “Yes, even though it hurts me to admit this, you are correct,” He started, “Our rivalry was legendary though,” He relaxed slightly at the memories of constantly trying to compete with Potter in 2nd year. Though, Draco’s small smile soon dropped when different memories came to mind. He met Potter’s eyes again seriously.

“I’m sorry for all those jokes I made about your parents. That was pretty low, even for me. I’m also sorry I broke your nose.” 

“Well, I’m sorry I called you pathetic,” Potter shrugged slightly before hesitantly adding, “I’m also sorry about your dad too.” 

“No you’re not.”

Potter laughed slightly.

“Yeah, you’re right. I hated your father,” He offered a sad smile before his eyes turned haunted, clouded with regret under his glasses, “But I am sorry for that day… in the bathroom. I didn’t know what that spell did and if I did, I would’ve never used it on you.”

Draco bristled. His silver eyes widened as he stared at Potter. His hand subconsciously rubbed at the place where stark white scars crossed over his chest. A painful reminder. That day was burned into his brain, a perfect candidate for a lot of nightmares. 

The memory of getting sliced open, almost uttering an unforgivable, and Potter staring down at him, horror written across his features. His inconsistent mumbles of ‘No, I didn’t-’ as he dropped down beside Draco, not believing what he had just done. 

Some nights, however, Potter’s face would be one of delight at seeing the blood gush out of his chest and mix with the water on the floor and would whisper that Draco had deserved it. His usual soft emerald eyes would be cold and unforgiving as he would leave Draco to bleed out on the tile. In those, Snape never came.

Then there were the ones where Potter would let his hand go and he would fall into the flames below, letting them engulf him just like Vincent. The heat licking at his heels in the air would be all around him, his hand outstretched but no one came to grab it. 

Draco blinked, feeling wetness behind his eyes and rushing back into reality as two fingers snapped lighty in his face. Draco shook his head and wiped at his eyes violently, batting Potter’s hand away. How can that git always make me lose my head? 

“Yes, well, you never think before you act, do you? That Gryffindor stupidity of yours,” Draco muttered, trying for a sneer but the slight tremor in his voice betraying him. 

Potter stared silently at him, those bright green eyes boring into Draco. They seemed to be slowly taking him apart, piece by piece, like he was completely transparent. His gaze was intense and searching. Searching for what, Draco didn’t know. 

Apparently done with his inspection, Potter shifted slightly before speaking. 

“Why didn’t you tell her? Bellatrix.”

Draco froze. He knew this particular piece of conversation. He had mindlessly tortured himself with it for months after everything had happened. What was Potter playing at? 

“You knew it was me. You didn’t say anything.” 

Small raindrops started to fall steadily into Potter’s hair, ruffling it up even further. Potter didn’t even blink. He simply continued to stare at Draco, question heavy in the air.

Draco gulped. 

“Because I… I couldn’t let you die,” he admitted quietly. Draco couldn’t stomach the thought of being responsible for anyone’s death but especially not Potter’s. His father had promised him that the Dark Lord would be pleased with them again if he told. Their reputations would be restored and he would receive a high rank in the Death Eaters. 

But Draco had known what it was like to work for that madman and he hated it. He wanted to fight on Potter’s side and see the light finally beat the dark. So he hadn’t refused once the golden boy himself showed up and unknowingly presented Draco with his seemingly only chance at redemption. Even if the Dark Lord had killed him afterwards, he still would’ve known he had aided Potter and that was enough. 

Potter smiled softly at him, understanding how much the little confession meant. The look on his face lost the previous intensity and was replaced by something open and welcoming. Slowly but surely, he stuck his hand out towards Draco in offering. 

“Let’s start over. You can call me Harry, if you want.” 

Draco glanced down at the hand in front of him. He was suddenly back in first year but Potter was the one offering his friendship this time. He had the ability to do exactly what the other had, to snub him and refuse. He could tell Potter it was too late, that he should’ve accepted Draco when he first had the chance. 

But this was something Draco had always wanted. He constantly annoyed Pansy and Blaise with his rants over the years about the git and they knew by now that he was head over heels. The feeling of boiling hatred had died soon after third year and the realization had hit Draco square in the face after he made Vincent and Gregory help him into a tree just to grab Potter’s attention. He had been thoroughly horrified afterwards and ultimately pushed it down, refusing to acknowledge it for years. 

Draco knew that this chance at friendship would only increase his unwanted feelings, might only lead to inevitable heartbreak but the name Harry was already sounding nice in his head and he knew it was too late. A small grin slowly spread across his face as he took Harry’s warm hand in his.

“Call me Draco.”


End file.
